Finishing week 3

Three weeks down.  This past week flew.  Maybe because of the Holiday?  I went to class and weighed in today.  I lost 3.2lbs this week.  My scale says more than that, which I find odd considering it was 1.5lbs off on the high side last time.  But oh well, I will continue to go by their scales because I don't want to use two different measuring instruments.  They do however weigh people on 2 different scales.  The first week I was on a different one than the last 2 weeks.  I was a little disappointed with 3.2lbs.  I didn't do anything different this past week and I actually used less additives and my daily caloric totals were a little lower than the week before.  I also exercised the same amount.  Maybe next week I'll lose a little more.  If it drops below 3lbs a week during the 6 weeks of meal replacement only phase, I am going to be confused.  Last year I dropped 36lbs in a little over 3 months on a net of 1200 calories a day.  That included the same exercise I'm doing now.  I don't really know why it matters how much I lose as long as I'm losing though.  I know I should be happy/proud and I am!
I tried another recipe yesterday.  Well baked it last night, ate on it today.  It was the "brownie" recipe in our recipe books.  They looked great, and tasted OK, but something about chewing the things I've baked - it's always the same yucky thing that happens when I try to eat it.  I feel like I am chewing it forever, and it just gets into this gooey glob in my mouth and I can't seem to swallow it and have to drink something to get it down.  I asked some people in class tonight about it, and none of them seemed to have the same problem!   Maybe it's psychological.
Either way, I am still good with my shakes, pizza, and soup every night.  For now.
In class tonight we talked about physical activity and its importance and benefits.  For the first 6 weeks I will stick to the 20-25 mins/day cardio but after I incorporate some fruits/veggies and my caloric intake goes up a bit I will probably try and shoot for 30 mins minimum, and then work my way up to more at a slow pace.  Right now, I'm still walking/jogging or doing my elliptical and some arm weights on occasion.  So for now, I'm doing good.  I really like doing it in the mornings.  It makes me feel better, more energized and focused the rest of the day.  So for now I'm good.  So a little over 16lbs down in 3 weeks.  Not too shabby.  Not too shabby at all!!  Oh and I did win the recipe contest on www.needlesspounds.com!  Got me a free box of meal replacements tonight!  I stuck with the chocolate and potato soup MR (for my pizza) and got another box of the creamy chicken soup for dinner.  Next week I think I'll do the Minestrone again though w/ the rotel-  yum!
Anyways, still going strong.  And I plan to keep it that way!

Oh holiday...

Today is Memorial Day.  The first real holiday (besides Mother's day) that I've dealt with while on this program. It's a big Holiday, but it's an even bigger weekend.  It's a 3-day weekend, usually filled with BBQs and swimming.  And that's exactly what is was for our family.  We went down to my parents house on Friday and spend Friday/Saturday night's there.  My mom cooked/served a ton of delicious foods- bbq pulled pork sandwiches, Papa John's pizza, cupcakes, sandwiches, all kind of chips, beef tenderloin, etc etc.  Needless to say by the time we left Sunday afternoon I was more than cranky.  Being around a lot of family eating food stinks.  Bad.  I stuck with my diet the whole time.  Didn't cheat, not once.  Am I proud of myself?  Yep.  But I probably won't feel better about not eating any of it until Wednesday- IF I see results.  I'm home now, and today won't be a big deal at all.  Tomorrow is Tuesday and then it will be time to weigh in!  And the onto the 4th week!  I've been doing mostly shakes and my pizza and soups still.  I'm lucky I didn't start this program in the fall.  Through Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  Yikes!  I couldn't imagine.  At least by that time this year I'll be able to eat some veggies/fruits!!   Speaking of Veggies... Robert and his brother built me (in record time), a 4'X6' raised vegetable garden in the backyard!  I am going to plant squash today, maybe something else, not sure yet... but I'm excited:)  If I do okay with it, I should be able to harvest in a little less than 2 months and I will be able to eat the veggies I grow!!  YUM!   So that's exciting.
This morning since we were home, and I'm off for the holiday, I tried a new recipe.  Cinnamon toast.  It wasn't good.  It was in the recipe book, and baked w/ vanilla MRs.  The texture was gross and I had to chew chew swallow w/ water real quick.  Hate doing that and every time I make a recipe that turns out like that, it makes me want to just stick to my shakes!   Which I am definitely okay doing!!  I am headed to the grocery store to buy groceries for the week, and get my vegetable seeds.  Then home to plant them!  I also have to do my workout today at home, probably on the elliptical since I am not at work to walk the parking deck.  The elliptical kills me though so that's good!!
Well this weekend might have made me a grouch, but at least I know I can make it through temptation.   I'm looking forward to Wednesday and my weigh-in now!

Starting Week 3- Goals.

I've been doing the UAMS weight control program for 2 whole weeks now and it's really not that bad at all!! I think I've completely gotten used to the flavor of the shakes and have resorted to drinking chocolate shakes 3X a day at work.  It's easy.  I'm not hungry.  I definitely have no issues with keeping that up at all.  I did go to class last night, and weighed in.  I lost 4.7lbs for a total of 13.2lbs now.  When you have a big loss of 8.5lbs the first week, seeing 4.7 is kind of disappointing, but then you think that a lot of that was water, and so if you just look at the 4.7 by itself, not compared to a previous loss, then that's a GOOD amount of weight!! Almost 5lbs in a week!  Kristen, my dietitian was telling the class that the amount you lose each week will vary greatly, from 1lb and up and to not be disappointed as long as we lost weight period.  It's true.    SO things really have gotten easier.  I have been making the pizza with the potato soup MR like almost every day when I get home from work as my 4th meal replacement, and then I've been having soup for dinner around 6:30-7.  I bought the minestrone last week, which I said was REALLY good mixed w/ the blended Rotel.  This week before class I bought some of the Creamy Chicken soup.  It's really good too, and to make a bigger bowl, I just add a tsp of chicken bouillon granules and more water.  and pepper.  TASTY!! 

 I think I will stick to this menu for now, until I get bored and then I'll whip something else up.  One girl said she liked the "baked potato" recipe that is in our book.  I haven't had that one yet, but it's something to keep in mind when I start trying to make other things.  

In class this week we talked about goals and rewards.  We are NOT EVER supposed to reward ourselves with food apparently.  The entire world probably does this.  I saw a picture on Pinterest that went perfectly w/ this a few weeks ago.  

HA!  It's actually pretty funny and a good reminder!  So anyways, we were told to write this goal down in our notebook or print it out and stick it places so we will see it.  I don't know really what to make mine, except I really want to lose 100lbs by May of next year.  So that's almost 12 months.  It's doable.  I just have to really work hard.  My reward for that will be going to Disneyworld.  We already have a condo booked for May and I cannot wait to take Ben.  If I make my goal, I'll be able to walk around the park all day long and not get tired.  I'll be able to ride the rides w/ Ben.  I'll WANT to be in all of the pictures.  It will be an awesome reward!!  I'm so excited that this program has me so focused on my goal, and gives me valuable information along the way.  I'm held accountable to a point that I've never experienced before.  I have lost a good amount of weight on my own before (several times), so I know I can really do it this time.  I love having to go get weighed at the hospital.  I love having to go to classes.  I love having people in the classes with me that I can talk to about this journey who understand exactly where I'm coming from.   

I also love having the support of my friends and family! :)   Thanks for encouraging me to meet all of the goals I will have along the way.

The weight of the nation

The Weight of the Nation is a documentary series on HBO right now. I DVRd it and have been watching. I've watched the first 3 episodes so far. It's incredibly interesting and fortunately gives an unfortunate look into obesity in America today. One particular part that I found particularly helpful for me was they talked about the metabolisms of obese and overweight people and how that if you lose weight down to your goal or down to a healthy weight, you would never be able to eat like a normal - always been at a healthy weight - person. The example they gave estimated that the person who had been obese but is now the same weight/height as the normal weight person would always have to eat about 20% less than the normal person to not gain the weight back. Or do so much more exercise etc. a normal person might be on a 2000 calorie diet whereas I might always be on a 1400-1600 calorie diet after I reached a healthy weight. They said as far as they know this permanent problem with the metabolism after weight loss cannot be reversed.
The hardest part of getting to a healthy weight isn't losing the weight. It's maintaining it.
After I get this extra 130 or so pounds off of me, I will have to struggle my whole life to keep it off. This might seem crappy and make some people lose hope but not me. I don't know that after losing that much weight, that I could ever allow myself to gain any of it again. The documentary showed 2 ladies who both lost over 100lbs each and have kept it off for over a year. One of them was allowed 1450 calories/day and the other 1600. It showed them on one of their NINE mile walks... I am not sure I will ever have the TIME in my schedule as a mom with a family to walk NINE miles but I could do an hour a day and hopefully that would be enough. I will figure it out when I get there.
The UAMS program I am on does prepare you for this, though. That's what the classes and dieticians are for. At least I know I am not doing this alone and I have support whenever I need it!
Also, if you have HBO, please watch this series. It's eye-opening!!!

One week down

I went to weigh on Wednesday before class. Miraculously (or maybe not given the circumstances), I lost 8.5 lbs! Normally when I start a diet I do lose a lot the first week due to water weight etc, but I am more than thrilled with this number. I weighed before class on my scale so I would know how much it was off from theirs and it was exactly 1.5lbs off (mine says I am heavier). But I think I will just try and weigh only on Wednesdays before class. Things are going good. Not hungry at all still. The meal replacements still taste awful though. I tried making "chips" again but i just cant get past the taste! I wish I could get used to it. I tried making some vanilla cornbread from the vanilla MRs I bought, but the taste again was too much and I had to gulp diet coke with each bite.... I am really getting the "shake" form of the MRs down much easier so I have been having 3-4 of those a day. It might be hard to do all shakes but it's even harder getting the "food" i make down... I am still going to try new recipes though... Not giving up on making foods entirely. Yet. Oh and we get to buy soups now. There are only 3 flavors and they are made by UAMS. We can only replace 1 health one MR with a soup because they have less calories (90 compared to 160). I have been making the soup like this:
1 packet minestrone soup
1 tsp chicken bouillon
12 ounces water
2 tablespoons of blended Rotel mildwith cilantro/lime. The mild is mild until you blend it. Then it becomes rather spicy!
I cook it on the stove top and its delicious!!! I make it every night as my last meal and now look foward to it after my shakes all day. (see pic).

I walked the parking deck every morning this week except Tuesday. Tuesday I did the elliptical at home. I am going to start walking with weights next week.

So far so good. I think eating pickles helps me a lot. And the soup.
Only 5 weeks to go and I can have fruit/veggies:)

A few new things

Day 6 is almost over.  The shakes are getting easier.  Making the MRs into food and eating it is getting harder.  Kristen e-mailed me back about the other day and said something about some people have a hard time adjusting to the "soy" flavor of the meal replacements.  Well, I don't know what soy really tastes like besides eating edamame (soy beans), and trust me, if the meal replacements tasted like those I'd be fine.  Maybe it's a different soy flavor I can't shake.  It's getting easier to drink my shakes b/c I drink them so fast, but actually chewing the food is still pretty rough.  The potato soup meal replacement gets so thick and gross in your mouth if you don't swallow it fast enough.  I pretty much have to wash each bite down as I eat.  Gross, right?  Still have hope that it will get better.  It hasn't even been a week!   I still haven't gotten hungry at all, which is GREAT!  I've been exercising everyday and apparently too much b/c I asked Kristen about that and she said they like us to keep it 30 mins or less per day in the beginning.  One day I did 60 mins.  So I've been doing around 20 minutes cardio per day and otherwise trying to keep busy at home (like cleaning, etc).
I did try a few new recipes the past couple days.  The first one being potato soup out of the potato soup meal replacement.  Seems like it would work, but no.   I actually made it w/ bouillon (chicken granules) (9 calories) in boiling water, then I added a tsp of Molly McCheese (5 calories), 1/9 cup of instant mashed potatoes (18 calories),  and salt and pepper, mixed it together, then added the meal replacement.  Then I added water to a soup consistency- which ended up being quite a bit, and I had a fairly large bowl of soup, and it was still too thick.  I topped it w/ some baco's (10 calories).   The flavor was good, but it is just too powdery and thick tasting.  I barely got this down.   I don't recommend it.

The next thing I tried w/ the potato soup MR, was a potato cake.  I mixed 25 calories worth of potato flakes with the potato soup MR, and some garlic seasoning into a batter consistency and dropped spoonfuls onto a hot frying pan.  I cooked them a couple mins at medium, then flipped them and cooked them a few more mins.  They turned out looking okay but again, I can't get past whatever taste is in the potato soup MR...  I used 1 tablespoon of ketchup (20 calories) and spread it on the potato cakes which helped a little.

So that's about it.  I made pizza again tonight.  Made the crust a bit thinner tonight, and it helped a little bit but again, if you chew too much, it gets all yucky in your mouth and you just have to swallow really quick... lol. 

 I know everyone that reads this is probably wondering how on earth I'm doing this.   I really don't know how I am doing it.  I guess I'm doing it because I really have no choice at this point.  It's not AS BAD as I may make it out to be sometimes!!!  

Anyways, I weigh in, buy new meal replacements, and have my 2nd class tomorrow.  YAY.  I'll update with progress (hopefully progress!) soon.

Easy peasy

Day 5. I think it's getting easier. I went to Wal-mart and bought a blender for work. I bought an Oster "Myblend". It's itty bitty and comes with a 20oz sports bottle that you actually use to blend in. I used it this morning and it worked great! So I will leave it up here. I decided I am going to do 3 shakes at work at 6:30, 9:30, and 12:30. Then I'll fix my other meal replacements when I get home after 3. The shakes blended without ice/poured over ice are becoming MUCH easier to tolerate!!! Good news! I made one this morning with coffee and the other with PB2. Haven't been hungry yet at all. Pumped about that. I have been getting my exercise in and plan to walk the KARK parking deck each morning at about 6:45 or so for about 20-30 minutes. I bought an armband for my iphone and tried it out this morning and it was great! I need to buy a fan for my cube though for when I get back from my workouts! I'm so lucky that our boss lets us exercise during work hours and even luckier that there's a giant covered parking deck across the street that I can use to my benefit! Love it's inclines.
One thing that I have been noticing now that I've started this is how much people talk about FOOD!! I am sure I used to do the same, and I guess you could say I still do (only the food I keep referring to is meal replacement powder). My brother in law yesterday was talking about some dish that came up on a Red Lobster commercial - before I had to walk outside. Then a coworker this morning started telling me about her Mother's day and the fabulous brisket they cooked. A good friend of mine has been posting Facebook comments about food non-stop! He's a foodie and probably always has but I never realized how much until now! I guess I have to learn to tune-out food discussions:). Society today definitely revolves around it. It's become a pleasure thing, a hobby... Instead of something used to keep us alive. My husband always says "it will keep me alive" whenever I ask him how his meal was (especially if it wasn't exactly good). But it's true. Food keeps us alive and that is one thing we should all try to remember. Trying to train myself to 'eat to live and not live to eat'. Or is there a healthy medium?? Which do you do?

Keep on Truckin'

This diet is MUCH harder than I initially thought it would be.  Could I drink 5 Special K, Slim-Fast, etc protein shakes a day no problem? Absolutely!  That's kind of what I thought I would be doing.  It's NOTHING like that.  These meal replacements have insane amounts of nutrition in them.  That's apparently how you can consume so little calories so safely.  And BECAUSE of that, they taste HORRIBLE!  I mean I really struggle to eat/drink them. I feel nauseous at times thinking about having to eat my next one.  One good thing about them is that they don't leave a yucky after taste, thank God.  Once you get it down, it's down.   I have been trying new recipes left and right and still haven't found anything that 100% covers up that "meal replacement" taste.  I honestly, don't think I will.  If I can do these for 6 weeks it will be a miracle!    But, don't worry I'm not giving up yet :)   So today I tried something my brother's girlfriend, Suzanne suggested- which was to NOT blend the MR (meal replacement) w/ ice and just mix it up and pour it over ice.  So I put 8 oz water in the blender w/ the MR and 2 capfuls of sugar free (calorie free) English toffee syrup.  I blended it for like a minute, then poured it in my tumbler over ice.  I drank it with a big straw in less than a minute!!!  It took me like an hour to drink those real shakes.  Much much better!  And the toffee syrup made it tolerable.  :)
I tried another new recipe today, a waffle.  Not like a breakfast waffle, I'd call it a taco waffle lol.  You make it with the potato soup MR, a little bit of corn meal mix, water, and taco seasoning.  Then you cook it just like a waffle.  The batter actually made 2 waffles though.  Topped it w/ salsa.  It was the most edible thing I've eaten thus far.

I also tried a minute muffin.  A chocolate MR, a packet of splenda, and water mixed to a batter consistency,  in a coffee mug.  Then you microwave it for about 1 min 20 seconds.  It LOOKED just fine... but had the same gross flavor and gritty texture of the other baked things I have made w/ the chocolate MR.  It took a lot of water to get down.  Not a fan.

So today I had 2 of those toffee shake things over ice, the waffles, the muffin, and some chips and salsa.  I literally cleaned the house for almost 4 hours, vacumming, scrubbing, picking up things.  I broke a sweat.  I probably underestimated the calories I burned (113 - 20 mins of light cleaning/moderate effort on MyFitnessPal app.  I know I cleaned 3-4 hours and not 20 mins but I hate over-estimating exercise.  So anyways, the I ate 913 calories today, burned 113, and netted 800.    Yesterday my net was 519 (I walked a lot!), and Thursday I netted 851 (just a 10 minute walk).
I feel bad for not eating my 6th MR but I really just can't.  It's possibly hurting me...   I emailed Kristen about it, but haven't heard back.  I feel fine though, energy wise.  I'm not hungry in the least.  I have been eating some pickles on the side:) They are allowed and I'm only eating 4-5 mini-dills.  Love them! Thanks for supporting me on this weight loss journey, reading these blog posts.  Please pray for my strength and commitment to this diet.  I'd appreciate it!!!
A couple new recipes to try tomorrow!   Yay (*sarcasm*)

My first day

I made it.  It's 6:45 and I won't be eating anything the rest of the night.  I usually don't eat anything after this time anyways.  So this morning I woke up and got my shake I made last night out of the fridge and put it in the freezer, went and got ready (15 mins) and then took it out of the freezer.  Packed up the car and I was off to work.  I drank my shake on the way to work.  It wasn't very good. It was a big shake.  I drank it through a straw.  It was icy.  I had to crunch on the ice before I could swallow it.  It took me almost an hour to drink it.  Maybe that is a good thing though b/c I had to *make* myself eat my second meal replacement at 8.  I ate some of the "cookies".  They weren't bad but by the time I got done w/ them I was forcing myself to eat them.  The texture was really dense.  
I went to the Neuro-ophthalmologist at 9.  I did visual field testing, followed by a dilated exam.  Everything was normal except my swollen optic nerves.  He said they were "slightly" swollen.  He said he's seen much worse, and again told me he thought it was due to benign intracranial hypertension (pseudotumor cerebri).  I have to go get an MRI of my brain as soon as they can get it scheduled to rule out any real tumors.  Scary.  I know they are rare, but still very scary.  I then follow-up w/ him in a month for repeat visual fields and another dilated exam.  I absolutely HATE getting my eyes dilated.
Anyways, when I got back to work I had my 3rd meal replacement. The "chips".  These were actually edible.  There were a lot of them.  They were crunchy and had good flavor.   Then around 2 I ate the other half of the "cookies".  Again, I had to almost force them down.  I got a diet coke to drink w/ them though and that helped.
Ben and I went on a short walk when we got home.  Up the hill and about 1/2 a mile total before Ben got tired.  He was barely keeping up w/ me as it was.  I guess 1/2 a mile is better than nothing.  I maybe burned 75 calories.    For dinner, I had a chocolate meal replacement shake w/ PB2 in it.  I blended it much better this time, and it wasn't icy at all.  It still tasted weird but I liked the peanut butter flavor and was able to get it all down.
Tonight (for tomorrow), I made chips again- 2 batches this time.  As well as some "muffins".

For the muffin recipe I used:
2 chocolate meal replacement packages
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp baking powder
1 packet of splenda
1/2 tablespoon of sugar free fat free chocolate pudding mix
2 capfuls of Davinci sugar free syrup
1/4 cup of diet coke
a dash of salt

I just threw that together.  They turned out looking okay.  I have no clue what they taste like.  Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

I thought about food a lot today.  Making Ben's dinner and Robert's dinner was hard.  Hope eating these replacements gets easier...  because eating what I wanted and counted calories last summer was way tastier and way easier than this!

Class Numero Uno

I went to my first class tonight.  I was a smidge nervous but not too bad.  It was in a small classroom in the Jack Stephen's Spine Center at UAMS.  There was a variety of people in my class. I think I may have been close to the youngest person in it. Maybe this program is just too expensive for younger people?  I mean... we really honestly can't afford this program but I have to do something, so we'll make it work.
So the first class was about getting started on the program, and meal replacement cooking. Yup.  You can bake, microwave, waffle iron your meal replacements.  The replacement is just a package of powder.  To make a shake you add like 6 or so ounces of water and ice cubes and blend it.  We tried several things that Kristen our dietitian had made for us in advance.  One of the things was some type of cookie.  Here's how she made it:
2 packages of chocolate meal replacement
1 packet of splenda
2 tablespoons of PB2 (a peanut butter substitute-it's powder)
1/4 cup of water.
You mix it up and then drop teaspoonfuls onto a baking sheet and bake it at 325 for 10-12 mins.  It is supposed to make 12 cookies.

This was actually the tastiest of the things we tried tonight.  We also tried "Cinnamon rolls".  They are made from the vanilla meal replacement, cinnamon, butter buds, splenda, flour, and baking soda.  They were the most disgusting thing ever.  Okay maybe not ever, but let's just say I will NOT be making those in the future.  I took one bite of my little piece and then smoothly slid the uneaten portion into my purse.  HA!  gross.    Another thing we tried was just the plain chocolate meal replacement shake.  I didn't really like it, but I think maybe could get used to it??  Kristen says she drinks a chocolate meal replacement shake every morning and she adds 1 tablespoon of sugar free, fat free chocolate pudding powder to it.  She said it thickens it up and makes the texture better.    We also tried the "chips" which is just a potato soup flavored meal replacement with taco seasoning in it, baked into chips.  They are pretty okay.    The last thing we tried was called a "Razzleberry".  This is a shake made from a strawberry flavored meal replacement, diet 7-up, sugar free rasberry jell-o mix, sugar free vanilla pudding, and ice.   So this was way too sweet for me.  Or something.  I don't know if I liked it...  I may give it another try sometime down the line.  Not this week though because I got 3 boxes of meal replacements : 2 chocolate and 1 potato soup.   Next Wednesday I buy more and could buy the other flavors if I choose to.  There are only 4 flavors : chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and potato soup.

Okay so that was basically the whole class, just her telling us those recipes, us trying them.  No one really asked too many questions.  We were given a giant recipe packet (40 pages) of recipes to make stuff.   She said we can add up to 50 calories of like flavoring type stuff to each meal replacement.  No more than 50 to each one.  SO if you added 50 calories to 5 meal replacements (most people have 5 a day, I am on 6 for some reason), but that would add another 250 calories a day.  Seems crazy.
We have a list of all the things we can add - like bouillon, sugar free, fat free jell-o and pudding mixes, salsa, Pb2 (the PB2 has 45 calories per 2 tablespoons compared to regular stuff), the list is kinda long.  Not all of them have calories like the gazillion flavors of sugar free DaVinci syrups.

So that was that, and class was over 10 minutes early.  First thing I did was went to Drug Emporium.  We were referred there d/t their insane stock of these DaVinci syrups- apparently they have more flavors than anyone else.   And that was no joke.  I ended up getting the English Toffee one.  I'm not really sure why because I can't even think of what English toffee is or what i've ever had it in.  I think I like toffee though...  I also bought PB2, splenda, sugar free fat free chocolate pudding mixes, ground instant coffee, and some more crystal light (for my waters).   Good thing about the diet is you can have zero-calorie soda's but if it has caffeine in it, it doesn't count towards the 64+ oz of water you're supposed to be drinking every day.  You can also have black coffee.  No creamer though so coffee is out of the question for me.  I did buy some though, to add to my chocolate shakes.  I was thinking mocha.  Or something... lol.

When I got home, I started thinking about this.  I have to make 6 shakes, or 6 SOMETHING'S tomorrow.  You're suppose to spread your replacements out evenly throughout the day, and you can't eat more than 2 at a time, and you can only eat 2 at a time ONCE a day.  So in other words they really want you to eat 5 or 6 times a day or whatever.   OK so I could make a shake, or chips, or cookies... but I can't do it in the morning, b/c I leave at 5:45 and I can't be up cooking and blending when Ben is asleep in his room 3 feet away.  So I am going to have to fix my work meal replacements at home the night before.  Fun.

Tonight... I *attempted* to make the cookies I spoke of earlier.  Except I didn't use PB2 and I used chocolate pudding mix instead.  I am not really sure how they are supposed to look, but all I know is that I got that doughy mix ALL over my hands while I was trying to get it onto the baking sheet.  I mean ALL over my hands.  It was soooo sticky.  I probably washed 1/4 of one of those meal replacements down the sink.... so sad. so not funny!  Note to self- don't use your hands next time!   SO this is what they turned out like :

Scary, right??  HA!  I have no idea what they taste like either, but I do know I can't be wasting any of these dang meal replacement packages because they are too expensive!!  I divided these in half b/c I used 2 meal replacements in the recipe so I will have 1/2 for breakfast and the other 1/2 later.

Here's how my chips turned out:

Now these don't actually look *that* bad to me, yes some are a little on the crispier side, but hey they are chips.  I made the chips w/ cavenders seasoning instead of taco seasoning and again, I have no idea what they taste like.   I will update later w/ reviews of my creations.    I also went ahead and made a chocolate shake w/ added chocolate pudding mix and a little bit of coffee.  I mixed it, and stuck it in the fridge.  I am assuming the ice will melt over night and make it more watery.  I'll stick it in the freezer when I get up and then take it out when I leave so maybe it will thicken up some?????

Trial and error my friends.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  It's NUTS!  This stuff looks horrible!!
Please God, be with me.  I'm freaking out.

On a good note, my new running (walking) shoes came in today.  At least I'm excited about something, right?

Orientation and my first medical visit

It's been a few days since I wrote last.  I went to the UAMS weight loss program orientation last Thursday.  There were about 10-12 people there.  They went over the program costs, what it consists of etc and at the end we signed up for classes and got our medical office visit date.   I went in for fasting labs the following morning which is always good times.  I start classes w/ Kristen on Wednesday.  She's a registered dietitian.   I met w/ her today as well before the medical office visit.  She went over the program a little more before I saw Dr. Agarwal.  Kristen charted my weight, height, BMI, percentage of body fat (which I think said 47% or something RIDICULOUS!), blood pressure, and heart rate.  Then Dr. Agarwal came in within a minute and first thing we went over were my fasting labs from last week.  I was dreading this part.  But actually all of my labs were within normal range w/ the exception of my cholesterol.  I say everything else was normal, because she said it was within range.  But if you look at the some of the numbers, they are toward the upper range of normal.  Here's my numbers:
Glucose - 96.  This is fasting blood sugar.  Anything below 99 is normal.  That's getting up there!!
Cholesterol - 187.  They like it under 200.
HDL (good cholesterol) - 47.  They like it >60.
LDL (bad cholesterol) - 109.  They like it to be <70.
Triglycerides - 155.  They like it to be <150.
Oh and my blood pressure was like 140 something over 90 something maybe- higher than normal.  It's usually 130s/80s.  yikes!  My pulse was 104- fast.  I've been told in the past that it was fast.  One doctor even mentioned starting me on some kind of medicine that slowed it down.
Hoping all of these numbers improve.  Especially my fasting sugar, and my blood pressure.
I also picked up my food today.  Apparently b/c of my current weight I will be doing 6 meal replacements instead of 5 at the beginning.  That's 960 calories/day.  Then as I lose weight they will decrease it back to 5.  Fun.  I got to pick up my first boxes of meal replacement today.  I got 2 boxes of chocolate and 1 box of potato soup.  You can make chips out of the potato soup kind.  We tried them at orientation and they weren't so bad!  My first class is Wednesday and I start the replacements on Thursday.  I wish it was tomorrow because I am ready now but just waiting...
Someone asked me yesterday what I would miss the most.  My first thought was Mexican food.  White cheese dip in particular.  I could eat that stuff by the gallon...  Then I thought of sushi.  Today I thought of another thing.  Ice Cream.  I thought of it as I was driving home w/ Ben w/ my cookie dough blizzard thing from TCBY.  Sigh.
So tomorrow is my birthday (WOOO!!!).  I'll be 29.  I'll be celebrating w/ food.  Just because I can.  One last time.  I really am ready to make permanent changes.  I want to look at food differently.  I want to look at Ben and Jerry's pints and then pick up a fruit sorbet instead.  And then I want to only eat 1 portion size instead of the whole pint.   I know I can get there.  I know I can do it.  One reason I know I can is because I really do love healthy food too.  I love salad, lettuce, raw veggies, any veggies really.  I love fruit.   Pretty much any fruit but blue berries.  I love lean meats like chicken/fish/turkey.  I already don't eat much red meat or fatty meats (sausage, bacon etc) anyways and can do w/o those easily.  I hardly ever eat salty snacks like potato chips or anything like that.  The hardest thing for me will be sweets.  Cupcakes, cookies, ice cream.  The sweet stuff is what kills me.  The sweet stuff is WHY I am so overweight.  But I know with the help of this program, the dietitians etc that I can work through that and that makes me excited.
So it starts soon. For good.  For the last time.  And blogging about my progress will be so much more exciting.
:)